LINGMERE 10th March 2019

A TRUE STORY OF LIFE AND DEATH , HARDSHIP , DEDICATION AND DOWNRIGHT BULLDOG SPIRIT

A TRUE STORY OF MAN VERSUS MOTHER NATURE SUDDEN DEATH DEFIED BY BRAVERY AND DEFIANCE

SUMO OF THE NARV "HOW I SURVIVED 20 MINUTES AT LINGMERE ON SUNDAY" , A TRUE STORY OF A FAGGOT WHO AFTER 20 MINUTES OF NOWHERE NEAR ZERO TEMPERATURES HAD TO RETREAT BACK TO PRENTON TO AVOID CERTAIN CHILBLAINS AT LINGMERE
THE FUTURE OF BRITAIN IS SECURE AS LONG AS WE HAVE PEOPLE LIKE THIS ACTING AS ROLE MODELS FOR OUR COMING GENERATIONS. IN THIS MODERN WORLD IT IS AN INSPIRATION TO SEE HEROES BRAVING THE ELEMENTS AND THE PERILS OF OUTDOOR LIFE TO PERSUE THEIR PASSION

Daily mirror : Utter Wank , what a tit - 1 star

Daily Mail : What a load of Eartha Kitt - 1 star

Daily Express : Should have stuck to fence post counting , what a bellend - 1 star

The Sun : What an inspiration this guy is should be given an OBE  - 5 stars

Daily Sport : Fat bastard was spotted in the Caernarvon and hour later drinking Pimms - 0  stars

LINGMERE 12/8/2018

THE OLD SCROTES OF EGGY FERRY CRUMBLE TO A RISING NEW STAR

Sunday at Lingmere saw a mere slip of a lad show fully grown ( and overgrown ) men how it should be done . The hundreds of years experience between them wasn't enough to hold off the superb Jack Trainor and his 95lb put the pensioners in their places.
Jack drew peg 31 and had to contend with venue regulars Jimmy and Andy in the section. Most of Jack's fish were caught in the margins on caster . Jimmy and Andy both caught 50lb + but could not catch this weeks winner.
In second place and framing for two weeks in a row was the club eye candy Cookie . Once again his approach on peg 11 was paste on top 2 +1 about 5 foot from the bank down the left . Mostly F1's and a couple of carp made up his catch of 80lb 02oz for B Section.
In third place and A Section winner was the medical midget Dennis .
On peg 3 he started down the edge on caster and stayed there all day to bring 77lb 06oz to the scales.
This was enough to fend off Housey and Mark who both put 50lb odd to the scales.
Finally the most popular win of the day was in C Section . Horrible Harrrop showed Bones and Les no mercy and 57lb of mainly arsehole hooked fish ( according to Bones )was enough for the money.
A good days fishing for most and nice to see Mark and Jimmy having a day out , Another pleasant sight on the bank was Kenny Stuart , only a flying visit but Kenny will be back on the match scene starting this week.

Congratulation to the framers and section winners and thanks for your help running the match lads. It seemed to go a lot better than when the Helmet of Hampton puts on his Mussolini uniform and starts barking orders about after going into panic mode when the pools money is 20p out .
God help us at the weekend away !!!!!

So in summary

1st Jack
2nd Cookie
3rd Dennis

Sections

A Dennis
B Cookie
C Nicky
D Jack

Cheers Boys see you soon

Cookie

Hampton Long Island 5/8/2018

SUMO SHOWS OFF HIS LATEST ANGLING EQUIPMENT PURCHASE AT HAMPTON
" THE PRESTON INNOVATIONS PORTABLE PISS HEAD BENCH "

Sunday was another scorcher and with the water levels down on Long Island ,margin fishing meant fishing about 2 metres from the bank.
12 Eggy  members made the trip and a visit to the greasy spoon at Broxton set us up for the day.
Once again the self proclaimed leader of the western world and man in charge Sumo took it upon himself to be the master of ceremonies. This resulted on him allowing Nicky Harrop to peg the lake as he is a venue expert at Hampton . Unfortunately Sumo does not know that Nicky may be an expert on the pegs but is shite at fishing and has never had more than 20lb in a match at Hampton over the last 20 years. Needless to say there are always complaints about pegging of lakes but today there was only one moaner .
On arriving at our pegs Sumo and Cookie noticed that the aerator  was causing a bit of a tow and feeder fishing seemed to be the answer . However after a 1 fish in 45 minutes frenzy Cookie decided
to tackle the tow by fishing 2+1  on paste about 2" overdepth . This seemed to give more positive bites and Carp , F1s , Crucians Skimmers fed on the same line for the next 4 hours . Cookie fed micros to start with but when bites became more regular did not feed anything for the last 3 hours of the match .
While this was going on Sumo the Helmet of Hampton went into sulk mode about the tow from the aerator ( fanny ) and slept the final 2 hours of the match as shown in the photo above .
Around the rest of the lake some people had it really tough while others managed to find a way of catching either down the edge on paste or hard pellet .
After 3 days practicing at Monk Hall it was still a surprise to see Cookie win the match with 116lb and win B Section .
In A section Patto was showing off his brand new Rive Pole Rollers and they seem to have helped him as his 55lb was enough for second and the section.
Finally Eric also fresh from Monk Hall  took C section with 42lb.
In third was Terry with 53lb , maybe you need to spend £120 on a new roller mate ?

So in summary

1st Cookie
2nd Patto
3rd Terry

Sections
 A Patto
B Cookie
C Eric

Thanks to all that fished , congrats to framers and section winners
Finally I'm in the money

Cheers Cookie

NEW STYLE HOOK TYER FOR PENSIONERS

Afternoon gents
I think most of you will be aware of a super new gadget called the GIZMO HOOK TYER
Reviews have been fantastic but a cost of £130-£240 may be out of a pensioners budget.
Dont worry , I have made one that will not put a dent in your pocket and will tie hooks almost half as good as the GIZMO
Please see the photo's attached , let me know if you want one only £499.99

This is the SPAZMO HOOK TYER , Designed and manufactured by Cooke Helmetronics Ltd and distributed by the Fuckit Corporation 2018

Cheers

Cookie

HALL LANE 1/7/18

Gents

If you are going to HALL LANE this Sunday please let Sumo or I know
If we do not have more than 10 people we may have to cancel

Cheers

Cookie

LINGMERE 13/5/18

ATTACK OF HELMETITUS CONFIRMED AT LINGMERE

There has been a suspicion for a while that Eggy Ferry A.S has a number of Helmets as members.
Unfortunately I have to confirm this suspicion after the act of Gross Helmetry witnessed at Lingmere yesterday .
It was not one of the usual suspects ( Sumo , Patto , Nicky , Terry,  Cookie ) who was guilty but our very own Match Secretary Davey Harrop.
Having drawn peg 9 Dave was not happy and introduced a seldom used tactic to improve his chances. He decided to use the Rover Peg . This means getting in the boat ( as pictured ) and drifting round the lake catching fish from everbody's peg. Last used by Captain Ahab in the harpooning of Moby Dick the tactic appeared to work but after a 4lb carp Dave felt seasick and had to return to his peg.
Joking apart Dave lost half his pole after hooking a fish and after a number of rescue attempts with Pole and Feeder rods the boat was the only answer .
Well done the lads for letting the boat go in , I expect some other clubs would not have allowed it and let a valuable bit of kit vanish forever , well in the Eggy Ferry .
Regarding the match some found it hard and some found it easy . With a few regulars missing there was plenty of room and I never heard the "BOXED IN " moan once.
In four sections the winner today was Andy Lawton. Continuing after last weeks win Andy put 85lb of mainly F1's to the scales.
Andy on peg 29 started on the feeder with groundbait and dead maggots. Catching from the off he then swapped throughout the day between shallow , monging and on the deck with caster , then back to the feeder to seal the win. Having sat next to Andy on peg 31 it was an absolute pleasure to have my arse kicked by such a nice man. Well done Andy.
I second place again this week was the club fell runner Bucko . John drew peg 5 and was sandwiched between Terry and Les ( sometimes known as a Lard Sandwich ) .Despite being egged on by the two for the duration of the match Bucko weighed 76-14 for the section .
In third place after a trip to Tunnel Barn , Dave Edwards showed he can do it when on a decent peg. Dave caught all day on pole and soft pellet .His trick was keep the fish on the deck .He did this by heavy feeding as soon as line bites , foul hookers appeared. The scales read 69-8 for third and the section . In C Section Dennis on peg 19 ( same as he was on Wednesday ) completed the section winners with a catch of 52-13 . Fortunately I had the island between me and Dennis but the breeze brought a few moans over all the same .
Another bonus this week was the absence of Sumo . After another weekend of giving his hard earned cash away to poor old penioners at the GCAOTY and Fisho he had no petrol money left and visited Lingmere by bike.
So in Summary

1st Andy
2nd Bucko
3rd Dave Edwards

Sections
A Bucko
B Dennis
C Dave
D Andy

Congratulations to the framers and the section winners

I have left this part till the end just so we can all reminisce over the fun and laughs we have every time we get out fishing .I write this because of the news about Ray Jackson passing away.
He loved the fishing and the banter and was a true character and will be missed by all .
Also at  the moment Kenny Stuart is in Hospital and we all wish him a speedy recovery , get well soon Ken.
Lets get out an the banks lads and have more fun and games. We have a great bunch of blokes in the club and have a great time every time we meet up.

Cheers boys see you soon

Cookie

Partridge Spey and Ribbon 6/5/18

All is calm again with the Eggy Ferry lads after the Facebook Bull**** poster Sumo is silenced at Partridge.

After another week of constant drunken facebook posts the self proclaimed Prince of Partridge was shown how to do it by Andy and Bucko.
Thirteen of us made the trip and we had two lakes to fish on .
Spey lake had two sections on it consisting of a section of three and one of four. Ribbon had two sections of three and it was D section that provided the winning weight Andy was this weeks champ putting 75-04 in the sling .Andy caught shallow all day on Ribbon which turned out to fish a lot harder than Spey.
On Spey  Bucko announced his return and the subsequent arse kicking of Sumo with 69-15  caught long , short and down the track with pellet. This was enough for 2nd place and the section .
In B section despite having his ego knocked (at last )Sumo caught 52.03 for third place and the section,beating Patto by a mere 12 ounces. Hard luck Neil.
By the way Sumo  was on the same peg that Mr Crabtree had 297lb in the 1957 fisho qualifier.
On Ribbon in C section Housey made it three wins in a row in the most difficult section. Phil had 15-11 to take the money . Phil , your on a roll mate , keep it going.
A slight dampener on proceedings was the withdrawal of Gary from the match .After a skinful of ale and multiple kebabs on saturday night the master of mirth was confined to lying on the bank to sleep it off (been there myself )
Despite the weather and the fish starting to spawn it was a nice days fishing on a well kept and organised fishery.
Well done Andy and welcome back Bucko . Sumo has gone into facebook silence this week thank god but it doesn't stop me giving him the title the Spaz of Spey for this week.
Whilst doing the weigh in we were informed by Sumo that he would be doing a youtube video of how to get fish out of the net and into the sling properly as we were all amateurs I suggested that he might be better doing a video of hanging himself which was seconded by Bucko .

So in Summary

1st Andy
2nd Bucko
3rd Sumo

Sections
A Bucko
B Sumo
C Housey
D Andy

Congratulations the the framers and section winners
If you read this lads we have booked some of the best lakes on the best fisheries we have ever been on . Lets try and make the effort to get out to them and make the most of the hard work done by the committee in giving us a chance to get on these waters.


Cheers Boys see you soon

Cookie