Lathoms 29th May 2016

                                                           AND THE WINNER IS

The day started for some with a superb breakfast at the Toby Carvery Ormskirk , for those without the ability to use a knife and fork it was Mcdonalds.

The lake was alive with fish but they had other thing on their mind rather than feeding.
Most people struggled to start with but by the end everybody managed to catch a few.
The Cookie monster sporting a new haircut after his switch from the Jackson 5 to Bronski Beat was bite-less after 2 hours on peg 1. However not one to waste a flyer he managed to claw himself
back into the running and managed to finish last in the section.
In the same section was Dennis who managed to master the situation and finished with a section win and his 56-1 lb haul and overall 1st place.
Expert bluffing from DJ on what he had gave a  glimmer of hope to Lee and Davy Harrop
however it was only a glimmer and both were beaten soundly.
Dave though dissapointed in not getting the section win had the satisfaction of his 41lb giving him 3rd overall on the day.
Tony Wilson suffering the effects of a bucket full of ale could not be denied netting 37-9 lb for another section win , loose fed Alka Seltzer and Resolve seemed to do the trick.
A first visit to the venue did not deter Colin "the machine " Cook who enticed 38-13 lb of Lathoms finest into the net for his section win.
In what was described by Patto as the section of doom Maver Chris tickled out enough  to leave last weeks runaway winner in his wake, 33-6 lb was enough to leave the hand of the Jolly giant empty.
Finally Dirk fresh from his handbags at 5 paces spat had a mixed bag of Ide , Chub , F1's and Carp in the onion bag for 44-4 lb and second overall.

In summary good weather , good sport and good banter and not a ball of crushed pellet in sight.

Thanks go to me and Davy H who did the weigh in as usual and Sumo for pegging it so everybody on the left bank had at least 3 pleasure anglers to hit when shipping back

Cheers

Cookie

Update

Hello men
Our Gary has managed to get me access to the blog
I will update it for the past few weeks when I get the chance and am happy to carry it on in place of Yozzer
Hopefully it will be as entertaining without upsetting too many

Hang on , bollocks to that your all going to get it !!!!!

Cheers

Cookie

test run cookies first post

hi lads hoping this works

LINGMERE, 10/4/16 ~ Dirk Dastardly spoils Dave's party....

Similar to last week at Lathoms, an overnight frost followed by clear sunny skies threatened to put a dampener on sport. No such thing!
Fish were caught throughout the day all round the lake.
Not many people fancy the 'bus stop' peg as your performance is normally analysed by all and sundry from behind the chain. Dave Harrop put on an awesome display and sadly, in some ways, hardly anyone saw it! He seemed to be permanently showing off his elastic, and neighbouring members were wondering if a ton was on the cards. Alas, he fell short, but a brilliant 76lb 12oz set the bar at a decent height.
 When Derek Warren drew peg 18, nobody would have rushed to have a bet on him being the winner. However, he called on all his venue experience and not inconsiderable skills to fish a monster of a match. Dirk Dastardly had rained on Dave's parade, and put an excellent 83lb 06oz in the onion bag.
Lee Pickup caught mainly ide, but had millions of them. A total of 55lb 14oz just pushed Dennis off the podium (wow! that must have hurt). Ginge finished with a more conventional net of f1s n skimmers for 55lb 03oz. Well done Lee, tough on Den.
Another very close 50p battle between Yozz and Buck saw a reversal of last week's fortunes. John won the 50p with 46lb 02oz, while The Gnome's 45lb 14oz was enough for section glory (and cash).
That rare creature known as Norman Smith showed up out of the blue. Maybe being totally out of tune is a blessing. He ended up on PASTE on peg 15, and comfortably won the section with 39lb 14oz. Very impressive.
Dave Edwards proved that he doesn't need a flier to perform, his 25lb 08oz earning section glory. Nice one Loverboy XXX

LATHOMS No1, 3/4/16 ~ Red Dwarf is star of the show

After a very cool night, and then bright sunny skies with little breeze, it was likely that Lathoms would be slow to get going.
It proved to be just that, although Sumo went off at a rate of knots. Then again, we've seen that one before.
After a very quiet couple of hours (literally), floats started to go under, fish were getting caught and the banter warmed up nicely, apart from the far end, which normally produces a weight or two. The action remained slow, and banter even slower.
Every time someone put a little run of fish together, comments would be made that bagging was going on. That proved enough to kill sport on most occasions, Then again, The Red Dwarf, Dennis Jones, had sufficient spells of catching a few that  he put together a tidy net of fish. He was owning up to 50lb.
Opposite was Jamie Pickup. After a futile first hour on the deck, Jambo went shallow but his fish were "only small". First to go to the scales, Jamie set the standard with an excellent 61lb 06oz.
A couple of pegs up, and The Gnome sat side by side with Johnny Buck Rogers. They had decided upon a 50p head to head. Banter went to and fro for the entire duration, as did the lead. "You've got more than me...", "No, you're well in front..." The scales told the truth. Yozzer had 55lb 14oz, and won the 50p, but Buck's 55lb 07oz was enough for a section win and substantially more cash!!
John Edwards started well and finished well, but somehow managed 'only' 43lb 10oz for a section win. Good effort though Sumo.
The Harrops went home happy. Both won section money, with Dave scoring a level 25lb and dad Nick 24lb. Well done to both.
The scales finally arrived at Dennis. They went round to 70lb 03oz, and put him on top of the pile. A great display from the star of the show. Like a few others though, he can't lie straight in bed.

****GUEST BLOG**** Cunneries and Lloyds, Badger..... by Sumo

As I've not been around for a couple of weeks, John has kindly agreed to keep you all informed as to the events of the latest matches.

Lingmere. 13/3/16
1 Paul Cargill 38lb 05oz
2 Buck Rogers 35lb 01oz
3 Lee Pickup 31lb 11oz
Section winners: Dave Edwards, Derek Warren, Dennis Jones, Harry Simpson


Cunneries, 20/3/16
Things boded well for our 19 intrepid travellers, with recent good weather, and the promise of spring in the light warm(ish) wind. The elderly amongst us have more experience of this unsettled time of year and know what a kick in the balls it can give you, especially with a full moon shining down through clear skies the night before.
The day started with embarrassment for the Cookie Monster (AKA as George Clooney following the acid attack and a good kicking in the face). He turned up in his Vauxhall Airport Taxi and parked like a twat, taking up 4 normal spaces. After a quiet word from the fishery owner, along the lines of "park that piece of shit properly dickhead" he obliged and we went into the café and enjoyed the usual full breakfast and pre-match banter / delusional dreams.
Now here's a funny thing, I won the lowest weight section with 9lb 14oz and from what I could see from my peg, the place had fished crap. I even held that same opinion having followed the scales around. Looking back at the results as I write this, the place actually fished very well, with the usual couple of (supposed) flyers doing the business but over 425lb of fish being caught. OK they were 'balled up' on some pegs but that's the same with most fisheries at the moment.
Winner overall was Dennis (fuck off, I AM standing up) Jones, with a brilliant 64lb 12oz. I would like to tell you how he caught that much, but I didn't know I was going to have to write this up, so I didn't interview him at the end. I'm sure some hooks and bait were involved somewhere though.
Second overall was Tony Wilson (no, not that sad git from the Hacienda / Granada TV) with 58-14. A great weight on the day.
Third went to Les (the Munchkin) Thompson with 45lb 08oz. A truly outstanding performance from Dorothy's friend.
Other sections went to Fuck All Rogers, who for once told the truth, weighing in 13lb 02oz, and Andy Lawton, who stopped polishing Dirk's silverware long enough to catch a well deserved 26lb 01oz.

**BINGO!! Despite Sumo's memory loss, I notice on the results sheet that Phil House won his first section with the club and his magnificent 31lb 06oz was enough to get into the 20lb challenge too. Well done Housey.

Lloyds, Badger, 27/3/16
This place really is an enigma wrapped up in a conundrum. Beautifully maintained with well spaced pegs, all offering similar depths and features, and yet the fish all seem to want to live together in groups on a couple of pegs. Trouble is, you never know which pegs they will be on the day. If you are on them then hold on to your pole, but if you're not, then a reasonable weight section win is the best you can hope for. The recent introduction of some stockie F1s appears to bode well for the future though, as they showed up on a lot of pegs throughout the lake.
Despite the weather forecast of 'severe gales and rain' for the afternoon, Jamie Prickup (no, I've spelt that right) decided a six hour match was the order of the day. With the whole lake booked we were well spread out which meant a lot of fish-filled pegs were left out (Dohhhh!)
1st place went to Jamie himself (god help us) with 86lb 12oz of mainly bread dobbed carp from a normally average peg. Well done son, but don't get cocky. Even a blind squirrel, etc etc.
Second was the pensioner's favourite bus driver, Mr Neil Paterson with 78lb 14oz. He smiled so much at the end, that it could be counted as what he would call 'exercise'. Sections went to Gary Brislen, who stopped cracking jokes long enough to amass 23lb, and your humble narrator who scratched together 29lb dead.
With the last hour of the match fished in torrential rain, and gale force wind, I'd like to thank Jamie for making sure we didn't miss it by being on our way home by the time the storm hit FFS!!!!!!

Thanks to Sumo for his efforts.
By the way, Bucko was 3rd with 33lb

LATHOMS No 1, 5/3/16 ~ Sumo walk helps The Gnome succeed

When Nasty Nick announced he had caught 40 f1s in snow, sleet and cold rain while practising on Friday, things looked good for this match. A quick snow flurry prior to kick off did nothing to discourage anyone, and by the all-in it was glorious sunshine for everyone except a couple pegged under the Leylandii at the far end. It didn't quite start off in spectacular fashion as the early stages proved a little tough. Those that got quick fish, feeling encouraged, generally proceeded to overfeed their pegs very easily. As the day wore on, however, the fishing improved, and most ended with respectable weights.
One who didn't make the end, again, was John Edwards. Yozzer was pegged next door and started the psychology even before the start. After an hour, Sumo's head was battered, and after another hour, talk turned to an early dart. John gave it another fruitless hour and then had a bite. Fish on and so was the comeback! Alas, just before the landing net, the hook pulled and left Sumo totally deflated. Ten minutes later, and all his gear was in the car, and he was gone.
The Gnome took full advantage of the empty space. Having caught a few in a steady start, F1s started coming with greater regularity, and by the end he had amassed 46lb 09oz, enough for first place.
Entertainments Manager and Club Comedian Gary Brislen had everyone laughing as he tried telling them he hadn't done too well. He certainly did enough to take the silver medal, with a decent return of 33lb 01oz. So well done Gary.
More frivolity was guaranteed on the way home as Gary's travelling partner Neil Paterson completed the podium. Another one to feel the benefit of the Tunnel Barn boot camp, having just returned from a 3 day stint at the F1 mecca, Pato finished with a magnificent 30lb 12oz. Having been on dodgy pegs every week for the last 4 years, Neil finally drew an end peg flier and boy, did he make the most of it. Bring on the next Fisho qualifier.
Supplementing recent Cunneries success, Steve Cookie Monster again demonstrated a modicum of angling prowess, with a well earned section win. Two visits to the powder room and a run round the lake to provide Bovril to the needy (that means everybody), and he still had time to put 22lb 07oz in the net. "My name is Steve Ringpiece, welcome to skills school." We might have to start taking him seriously............... errr not!