LINGMERE, 27/12/15 ~ Jigga Bells, Jigga Bells, Jigga all the way for Sumo

Praise the Lord, it must be Christmas! Hands up if you've ever fished at Lingmere when it was flat calm. A rarity indeed, and coupled with the maximum turnout of 21, all on the top lake, it didn't look conducive to a decent day's fishing. As always however, what do we know? Within half an hour I think everyone had put a fish in the net. How often does that happen?
The 'predictive text' facility on my computer has caused a few problems for this report. Whenever I type in 'Su' the machine fills the following in automatically..... "mo was struggling until 11.30, at which time he packed up and did the walk of shame to the Caernarvon, where the barmaid had 2 lagers waiting on the bar".
Well I had to edit it this time!
John Edwards put on an exemplary display of shallow fishing to empty his peg to the tune of 68lb 02oz and earn a runaway victory. No need for a fat lady, it was game over after an hour. I say exemplary, which is not strictly true, but as near as damn it.
Now Sumo shops at Waitrose. He gladly pays £5 for a tin of corn that you can get in Lidl for 35p. He translated that into his fishing this week. While everyone else would use a BB shot for the 'monkey rig', John insists on spending £3 to buy the completely needless 'Jigga float' to do the same job. It was a superb job though, so fair enough.
Trailing in his wake was venue regular Yozzer. Now, predictive text would be useful here. The Gnome fished pellet at 6metres! A 57lb 14oz return was sufficient for the second step on the podium.
Congratulations to Dave Edwards. On his first outing as a fully paid up member, Dave showed everyone what he is capable of. A great display saw him put 52lb 11oz on the scales to make the frame at the first time of asking. Jeez, another Poulton legend to contend with.
The original Vics legend that is also known as Tony Wilson, was on the list of section winners. His 46lb 04oz was enough for a brown envelope.
Lee Pickup put an end to a little quiet spell he'd been going through, his 46lb 01oz also putting him in the money.
Buck Rogers gets his customary mention, and more money, as his 39lb 10oz was good enough for section glory, while Kenny Pickup put venue knowledge to good use with an excellent return of 51lb 10oz.
Finally, the duff section was won by Jamie Pickup. Duff weights compared to the rest of the lake, but a really tight little section, with everyone around the 20lb mark. 21lb 11oz was enough to bring home the bacon for Jambo. Well Done to all the section winners.
A little mention for another new boy. Phil House, sea fishing legend, had his first proper taste of pole fishing today, and marked the occasion with his first ever barbel. I'm sure you'll all help him along in the coming year.
I wish you all a happy and lucky New Year, and I hope you draw the pegs you want. Hope to see you all at the AGM on Tuesday 5th Jan 2016.  

Xmas match at LINGMERE, 13/12/15 ~ The Gnome pulls off a hat-trick

The spirit of Christmas enhanced this match, putting an edge on the already brilliant camaraderie that exists between members. Gathering in the Lingmere café for brekkie and banter, several of the lads exchange little cards and gifts. Les Thompson presented Yozzer with a ski-style bobble hat with tassels. Particularly striking were the lime green, pink and black colourings to match the lime green coat he has been sporting recently. From a purely functional point of view, it was perfect for keeping the ears warm on as cold a day as we've had so far this winter.
From a psychological point of view it seemed to bedazzle half the field, who were more concerned with ridiculing the said gift than actually fishing. Having drawn a dolly peg too, The Gnome took full advantage. Pellet at 5m was the successful approach, as he put 49lb 04oz of skimmers and F1s on the scales to complete a hat-trick, and win the fish-off for the 20lb challenge too.
Drawn next door was the King of the Ling, AKA Dirk Wriggler. As daft as it sounds, he attracted too many fish into his peg and spent half the match struggling with foul-hooked fish before losing them. It proved costly, as he finished off the pace with 39lb 14oz. Still an outstanding effort to take the runner-up spot.
Knocking on the door yet again, another venue regular, Nasty Nick Harrop just can't get his head in front. The 'faggot with the maggot' put on another fabulous display but again fell short, his 36lb 04oz impressive, but only good enough for bronze.
Section prizes were keenly fought over, with some close encounters. Steve Coleman's excellent 29lb 14oz beat Cargy by 7oz, while  our little rotund friend Les Thompson saw his generosity rewarded as his 19lb 05oz pipped Col Cook by a mere 6oz. Buckall Rogers completed the top lake prize winners with a comfortable section win with his 28lb 11oz return. A big well done to them all.
On the bottom lake it was a different story. Struggling to show any real form for a couple of weeks now, it again proved a tough nut to crack. It was, however, a very fair contest as it was hard for everyone. Best weight on this lake was from Jamie Pickup with a modest 15lb 01oz catch. Ken Stuart maintained recent top form with a section winning 12lb 07oz, while Sumo wiped his feet on the way to success, his 10lb 07oz net inching into the money by a mere 3oz. Good efforts from all three.
Hot food after the match was a godsend. It gave everyone a chance to get warm, and for post-match information and banter to be shared and discussed. Pity it couldn't happen after all matches. Those who attended exchanged good wishes for the forthcoming festive season. For those who couldn't get there,  I wish you and your family all the very best for Christmas and 2016. See you at Lingy on the 27th.

LATHAMS No1. 29/11/15 ~ Yozzer is number one lunatic

Normally, when the weather isn't very good, anglers are described as 'brave'. Well let me tell you this, the 16 members who turned up for this match could only be called lunatics. Despite being out in some pretty awful stuff over the last few weeks, this one was positively tempestuous. Not one angler was actually that crazy to attempt a brolly, despite a series of showers passing through as the day progressed. The wind was ridiculous, and most unintentionally fed their margins on a regular basis, as bait boxes were blown off side-trays and into the lake.
Keeping rigs steady, even in the 'sheltered' pegs, was nigh on impossible as there was a strange swell on the water, to go with the ripple/ waves (delete as appropriate). The float went one way and then the other almost all day. In moments when it was settled you might get a bite if you were lucky.
Luckier than most was The Gnome, who made it back to back wins as he fished short on pellet. Sufficient numbers of bites came and he weighed a chart-topping 64lb 13oz net of mainly F1s.
This was just enough to see off the challenge of 'The Yeti' known as Chris Roe. Since last winter's successful campaign, we've hardly seen Chris. Suddenly he turns up and brings the winter with him, and immediately slips into form. An excellent 63lb 12oz, apparently caught shallow at 5m meant second place for Chris. Well done.
Nasty Nick Harrop probably had the worst of the weather to contend with, but nobody had any sympathy cos he's such a***** (insert a derogatory name of your choice). Credit though, as Nick made his Friday practice session pay off with a brilliant 42lb 12oz, which proved good enough to make the frame. Congratulations, he's a nice man really...... not.
The Pickup Brothers took the section prizes. Lee scraped into the 20lb challenge final at the last chance saloon, his 28lb 04oz also proving enough for section glory. Jamie, despite the wind, fished 13m all day. Maggot on the deck in 8ft of water earned him a decent net of quality ide supplemented by skimmers, tench, and an occasional F1. He ended with a very respectable 29lb 08oz. Imagine if he could master the 5 metre line, he'd be even more awesomer than he already is.

CUNNERIES, 22/11/15 ~ Gnome keeps cool as winter arrives

I suppose with all the mild weather of late, it was inevitable that winter would hit us with a bang. Two 'storms' back to back brought gale-force winds before rain, hail and even snow put in an appearance. Temperatures also took a dive, although we didn't quite get an overnight frost.
Just like last week, it looked as though we'd be in for a grueller, and despite it being decidedly cool when the sun went in, it turned out to be quite a pleasant day as long as you had enough coats on. Perhaps, surprisingly, everyone had a few bites too.
Typical winter F1 fishing meant chasing the fish around the peg. Most opted to fish the maggot, to good effect, but The Garden Gnome had other ideas. With the wriggly things still costing more than £1 a pint, he stuck to his twenty pence worth of micros and a few 4mm expanders. It worked a treat, and a fish after 3 minutes set the tone for his match. A total of 52 F1s went 65lb 12oz at the scales and put the Gnome on top of the tree.
Single maggot saw Tony Wilson catching steadily throughout, and at a rate many thought would be fast enough to win the match. Sadly he fell just short, with an estimated 43 F1s weighing in at 58lb 11oz. Another smart performance to supplement other recent efforts, well done Tony.
Third place went to the ever consistent John Rogers. He consistently tells everyone that he hasn't had much! Despite doing enough during the first part of the session to be in contention, the wheel seemed to fall off in the last 90 minutes and also saw Buck drop off the pace. He did, however, do sufficiently well in the early stages to register a fine 35lb 05oz. Nice one John, but you will now be known as 'Buck all' Rogers.
Weights in the low 20lb bracket took all three sections as Gary Brislen, Dave Harrop and wee Dennis Jones all picked up brown envelopes. Andy The Butler and Nick RS Harrop also recorded honourable 20lb scores but will have to be content with 'blog' mentions but no cigars. 

LINGMERE, 15/11/15 ~ Jamie blows the opposition away

With gale-force winds and heavy rain forecast, this had the makings of a very unpleasant day. However, it's not unusual (according to Tom Jones) for the forecasters to get it wrong, and the expected showers didn't materialise. After Steve's generosity allowed us use of the bottom lake, we were able to peg it so the wind affected very few pegs. In short, it fished it's head off!
With the little bit of extra room on the top lake, everyone weighed over 20lb.
Surprising for the time of year, but the monkey method paid off again, as Jamie Pickup used it to good effect with caster to record a brilliant weight of 81lb 14oz. The wind was strong, but Jamie blew the opposition away with his effort. His fourth victory of the year puts him in the firing line for Garbo qualification. Magic Jambo.
Also in the mix is Johnny Buck Rogers. The great performances keep on coming as once again Bucko did exceptionally well to put 72lb 03oz in the bucket, earning him a silver medal. As John is in his first year of membership, the committee will review his probationary period at the end of the term. My recommendation is that we show him the door..... he's far too good.... at fishing, and bluffing too.
Another showing improvement on a regular basis is Tony Wilson. His excellent 69lb 15oz earned him the final podium position, and enhanced his growing reputation. Well done Tony.
Little Dennis is worthy of a mention as his decent 55lb 05oz effort was achieved without the use of the 'new' power pencil floats from the DJ range. In fact, he never had a float on at all. Amazing.
By comparison, the bottom lake fell slightly short. Although it showed improved sport from the last couple of weeks, weights weren't enough to compete in the overall contest.
However, sections were as competitive as ever, and the best weight came from venue regular Ken Stuart with a very steady 43lb 14oz. Just enough to edge out Dave Lynch's 41lb 04oz bag, and claim a well earned section prize.
Another regular, Nasty boy Nick, put together a decent 27lb 09oz from unfancied peg 40, and took section money too. Particularly nasty this time, as he demoralised Sumo's somewhat shaky mojo. Having been a hero in the Echo this week, following exploits in the recent Lingmere charity match, reality set in for Sumo as the newspaper is now chippo wrappings at best, and bog roll at worst!!!
Finally, The Garden Gnome came in from the cold this time. As Sumo kept telling everyone, Yozzer hadn't won a section for about 5 matches. He set the record straight this time with 35lb 12oz proving to be more than enough for section success. Hallelujah!
   

Current standings in the Garbolino Club Angler (best 6 matches):

Yozzer 6pts

Dirk 8pts

Jamie 9pts

Sumo 9pts

Dennis 10pts

Bucko 10pts

Brislen 14pts

Lee 15pts

Claire House Charity Match, LINGMERE, 8/11/15

Sorry I couldn't attend , but I've just heard that this year's inter-club challenge has raised a phenomenal £5000, Yes, five thousand, for Claire House. A brilliant effort by Col Cook in organising the event, and just rewards from a great bunch of lads. 36 anglers from across Eggy Ferry, Rivacre and Wirral Borough, including a few 'ringers', all contributed to a great day at Lingmere fishery.
It probably doesn't matter that Eggy Ferry were the victors for the third year running, the real winners were the marvellous Claire House.
Hopefully this event will run and run, so well done to everyone who contributed, and once again, massive thanks to Col Cook.

Lathoms No4, 25/10/15 ~ Standing ovation for super Sumo

A bit of a fiasco greeted us at Lathoms this week. An overflowing car park spelt trouble, as 4 clubs were in attendance, all hoping to fish 2 waters. Double booking on both match lakes found things being rearranged, and due to numbers involved, we found ourselves on No4 pool. Fortunately, there is very little difference needed in the approach, so no harm done, and a new experience for most.
With the weather as it is, the previous weights at Lathoms were never going to be matched, but this turned into a very tight little affair.
Of course the angling genius that is Sumo set himself apart from the field, but the rest were extremely close. Flushed with recent success, it seems that John is trying to set a new trend. Forget your pulla kit and just stand up to net every fish. Personally I don't see it catching on, but who knows. It worked for Sumo as he netted 51lb 08oz of F1s and silvers and won in convincing style. Magnificent John, just magnificent.
Despite trailing for the first part of the match, Gary Brislen came good late on and sneaked into the runner-up spot with a fine 45lb 15oz return. Just behind, on 45lb 13oz, was the Garden Gnome..
Well done to both.
Lee Pickup with 44lb and Neil Paterson with 42lb both fished well but for no reward, while sections went to Dennis Jones with 39lb 15oz, Dirk Wriggler with 36lb 14oz, and fresh from his angling globetrot, Nick Harrop with 40lb 07oz. Congratulations to them all.

LINGMERE, 18/10/15 ~ Tony is top dog

With numerous trips planned, I only have time for the result, sorry.

1st Tony Wilson 62lb 02oz

2nd Lee Pickup 50lb 14oz

3rd Dirk Wriggler 49lb 07oz

Sections for Dennis Jones 48lb 14oz

                              John Edwards 10lb 03oz

                     Ken Stuart 26lb 12oz

                              Jamie Pickup 35lb 06oz 

Well done to Tony and all the framers

HAMPTON, MEADOW, 4/10/15 ~ John's stand-up routine is no joke

Chilly nights, foggy mornings and then bright, calm days are not the ideal conditions for a day's fishing. Despite this, Hampton provided us with a very competitive match, and half the field weighed in over 30lb. Typical of the last few weeks, provided a little thought and effort went into the fishing, there were bites to be had, albeit spread out through the match.
John Edwards is the first to start shouting 'advice' when anyone hooks a decent fish, normally about the use of a pulla kit. How amusing then, to see Sumo standing on tiptoes to land every half decent fish he encountered. He also spent a great deal of time standing in order to see his float in the margins. As remarked during the day, we think he was giving his seatbox a rest from the usual torture of carrying his fat ass. After the initial ridicule at his antics, the only one laughing at John's stand-up routine was John himself. He certainly wiped the smile off a few faces at the final whistle as his 46lb 09oz made him a clear winner. Yes, I know, Sumo and winner in the same sentence!!! An outstanding performance from John, so credit where due, well done.
Another big performance came from the evergreen Kenny Pickup. Finding some bigger fish in the margins, which many of the field failed to muster, KP brought 37lb 03oz to the scales, and earned himself the silver medal. Nice one Ken.
Third place, by a whisker, went to Dirk Wriggler.  Despite any winnings going towards a new No.6 section, Degsy held himself together (if not the pole) to catch 32lb 15oz and sneak onto the podium. Another consistent effort, so well done.
Section wins went to Lee Pickup with 32lb 10oz, and The Jolly Green Giant. Having been verbally abused by Nasty Nick for most of the day, Neil took sweet revenge with his 31lb 08oz return. Good, honest performances from both section winners, congratulations boys.

BLUNDELLS, WEST, 20/9/15 ~ Buck's late burst blitzes Blundells

A fairly modest turn out for the latest visit to Blundells. Following a couple of disappointing contests at the venue, everyone seemed to have set themselves realistic expectations, and consequently it turned into a pleasant match, where you had to work for your bites in order to put a weight together. Sport was reasonably consistent right along the match length, with the 'podium' all drawn in different sections.
With two hours left, Johnny Rogers was holding on to shirt-tails to keep himself in contention. He then turned on the turbo to blitz the field with a sparkling end to the match. Denying every fish that went into the net, Buck caught F1s steadily and added two decent bonus carp to claim victory with an excellent 42lb 02oz. Congratulations to Johnboy.
Pipped at the post, and bridesmaid again, was Dennis Jones. A rock solid performance from start to finish on the long pole, saw Den regularly feeding his keepnets, and putting pressure on those around him throughout. 40lb 09oz meant agony for Ginger as he was headed on the line. but still a great effort.
John Edwards was on peg 2, which meant he was on scales duty. You could smell a rat from a mile away, as Sumo decided to start the weigh-in at the high numbers and work backwards to his own catch. He was also in high spirits, which could only mean that he fancied his chances of framing. And frame he certainly did. Fishing 'gnome style' on short pole, Sumo put 39lb 08oz in the bucket, to claim a well deserved bronze medal. Well done to John, who reckons he's got his mojo back.... along with some blackjacks, swizzles and an arrow bar.
Credit is due once again, as despite a tough day for most, there was no moaning whatsoever. It makes the job so much easier, so thanks to everyone in attendance.

ANOTHER WEEKEND IN WORCESTER, 4/5/6th September 2015 ~ Remember the name...Eggy Ferry

Before this weekend even got under way there were rumours abound that the fishing would be awful and it would be difficult to build relations with the respective fishery bosses. How wrong can you be? I think the days of ridiculous bagging matches at Cob House are long gone, but the fishery provided us with some great sport, as good as anywhere we normally go, and our matches were fiercely competitive. In fairness, there were some credible weights too.
Despite some indifferent customer relations, the club must come away from the venue with an excellent reputation. No moaning, no inappropriate comments, and a respect for the fishery and its staff.
On to Solhampton, and Burgess. Now he is a bit of a character to say the least, but following last year's visit, members did well to enhance the already decent image that we created. Once again no moaning, and the somewhat tricky set of rules observed to the letter.
I was proud to represent the club at each of the hotels, and I'm sure we will be welcome to return in future years. The hostelry at which everyone spent Saturday night would, no doubt, be delighted to have our custom should we wish to return. Following a poor showing on the Friday night, Robbo managed to stay awake and soberish to enjoy a fantastic evening. Long live the floating Guinness and chilli sambuca. Even Yozzer had a jaeger bomb! Such was the night, that the stragglers didn't leave till 3am.

Friday 4th Sept, COB HOUSE, WYATTS ~ Ton-up Tony is tops.

A little confusion at the start of this meant that some people were claiming that by the time they went in, The Gnome had caught three fish. No "all-in" shout, but a "commence when you are ready", done to prevent certain members from swimming, caused the misunderstanding. The head start didn't do Yozzer any good though, as he ended up getting dusted by Dirk Wriggler off the next peg. Degsy fished method feeder at 5 metres to register a second place with an excellent 86lb 15oz.
The winner, however, was the man in form, Tony Wilson. Continuing his improvement, which has been steady all season, Tony 'smashed' the ton by 3oz. It could have been even more but a keepnet violation meant his weight from one net was capped at 60lb, when it was clear he'd had more than that. Regardless, rules is rules but still a brilliant achievement, so congratulations.
A randomly drawn pairs competition was being run over the three days, so when Tony's partner, Gary Brislen finished in 3rd place with another tidy weight of 82lb 10oz, it seemed like that little contest was over before it began. It actually gave them a 40lb advantage going into day 2.
It's becoming a regular occurrence, but, yet again, Andy Lawton was in the money. Once again a section win, this time with 43lb 04oz. Paul Robb managed to get the better of Neil Paterson in the final section, his 76lb 15oz giving him 10oz to spare over the big fella. Well done to both section winners and to the Jolly Green Giant, too.
Well done to Harry Simpson for giving Simmo Jnr and Col Cook a 'babooning' (red arses from a kicking). His 57lb was a genuine highlight.

Saturday 5th Sept, COB HOUSE, WYATTS ~ Ton-up Tony foiled this time

A really strange match, as everyone felt they had learnt from the day before, but the fishing seemed harder. At the end, however, the weights had improved!
Before the match, everyone had put a pound in the kitty, and before they put fish on scales, they had to estimate the weight they would record. Nearest guess would take the prize.
Tony Wilson informed the scalesmen that he had 78lb but again went over the magical hundred mark, this time with 101lb 09oz. A pretty poor guess, but by no means the worst (only 23lb out).
Now The Gnome is a notorious bull-shitter at the weigh-in. He reckoned on 70lb, but accepted that he never gets anywhere near, so for the purposes of the game, he guessed at 88lb. Absolutely hopeless!!...... The scales went round to 108lb 07oz. It proved to be the match winner, but the 'guess your weight' contest..... well.
Filling the podium was Nice Boy Nicky Harrop. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry when the scales stopped at 96lb 13oz. A brilliant effort, but falling just short of the ton, and Tony was in his section too. Oh dear, never mind.
Harry Simpson was first to weigh, and having estimated his catch to be worth 34lb, it looked like game over when the scales read 34lb 03oz.
However, with three to weigh, the scales arrived at Andy Lawton.
The Butler claimed he had fished to a plan. Catching very little would make the guessing easier. 16lb 02oz was the precise estimation, and incredibly, the scales went to 16lb 04oz. He'd beaten Harry by a mere ounce. He may have finished last, but he was £20 richer. Great fun, and huge interest in the weights all they way round the lake.
Pato gained revenge by beating Robbo to the section with his level 62lb, even if his was the worst guess (35lb).
Ian Simpson and Col Cook looked for all the world like they were going to be 'babooned' by Dad for the second day running. Amazingly. they both had sensational last hours, with Ian bringing a brilliant 88lb 10oz to the scales, and Colin a credible 56lb 03oz. Ian also upheld the guessing standard with his 87lb 08oz estimate.
Gary Brislen was also in the money again, this time The Entertainments Manager was a section winner with 70lb 04oz. A great effort, which also added 7lb to the lead in the Pairs contest. 

Sunday 6th Sept SOLHAMPTON, KINGFISHER ~ Robbo is a Bathing Beauty, Yozz wins the fishing.

It just had to happen at least once during the trip.
In the warm autumn sun, Sumo was sitting topless at his peg looking like he could play a big part in the contest. Suddenly, out of the blue, an almighty splash in the next peg indicated that Paul Robb had dived head first into his peg to retrieve an errant top kit which was making it's way over to the far bank. Robbo rescued the top, and the carpy culprit, and made his way back to the bank. Despite his peg being ruined by the commotion, John offered Robbo a dry fleece and  Harrop asked if he wanted some bristle grease to smarten up his hair.
This was a totally different type of venue, with lots of smaller carp around 10/12 oz supplementing some better samples.
Although pegged on the other side of Robbo, a big bed of rushes had softened the blow of the Swimming show, so Yozzer was able to catch all day and his 90lb 03oz proved enough for a nice day's fishing and a victory too.
After two excellent but fruitless displays at Cob, little Dennis Jones was finally rewarded for his consistency with a magnificent 82lb net and an honourable silver medal. A great display by Den, but those floats? They keep going under! Testimony to their quality, everyone seems to want them.
No holding that man Tony Wilson back. This time another quality effort brought third place with a decent return of 76lb 08oz. Like all good anglers, he reckoned he'd learned a few lessons over the 3 days. Good Luck to him and Chris Roe on TBF next week.
Still referred to as young Paul, Cargy is getting on a bit now, but despite excessive alcohol consumption on the previous night, his fishing is also coming along and so he proved with a section winning 60lb. Well done Paul.
Pato finished off a very productive weekend with his third decent weight in 3 days. This time his 56lb 08oz saw another section winner's envelope go into the back pocket, and travelling companion Gary B sticking his sloppy paste where the sun don't shine. With Gary disappointing on the final day, it gave a glimmer of hope to the chasing pack in the pairs. With a final combined total of 450lb, Gary and Tony had proved to be a perfect pair, winning by a relatively small 12lb margin from Chris Roe and The Gnome.


From a personal point of view, I'd like to thank each and every member for their contribution to this weekend. My job was made easy because everyone did their bit and there was no moaning about anything. I was proud to be the front man for the club as everybody conducted themselves impeccably. A special mention to Sumo and Luco for their assistance, and Spadger for his efforts in securing the top class accommodation. Both brilliant hotels, especially for the money.
Hope we can do it all again next year.

HAMPTON SPRINGS, Rock, 23/8/15 ~ Pato makes The Gnome up his game.

Another brilliant turn-out meant that some of the less productive pegs on Rock had to go into the drawbag. Still, our section system tries to ensure that things remain competitive even when areas of the lake aren't full of fish.
Only one section proved to be a complete washout, with Steve Coleman's modest 6lb 14oz return being enough to take the money. Everyone in the section stayed the distance and weighed in, so credit to them, and congrats to Steve.
Midway through the contest, Neil Paterson was making very good use of the 'tip flier' known as Rock 23. After putting a few decent carp in the onion bag, it seemed that he was well in front of The Gnome and his bag of pole caught crucians. "Come over here a minute" Pato beckoned. "What for?" was Yozzer's response. "You're gonna need this Argos catalogue to make the kicking a little less painful".
Now, when faced with the option of kissing or kicking Pato's backside, which one would you prefer? Me too, that's why I had to up my game. Fortunately the island carp decided to come closer to the bank, and as Pato slowed, the margins started to produce. One 5 lber and half a dozen smaller carp were added to around 30lb of cruies, and it was job done.
Yozzer had totalled 58lb 02 oz, and not only put Pato's 35lb 06oz in it's place, but also won the match.
Ian Simpson put  in a welcome, if rare appearance and, as usual, went away with cash. An 'enjoyable' day resulted in the runner-up spot with an excellent 52lb 02oz.
Another angler we don't see enough of is Tony Wilson. He fished mainly maggot and put together an honourable 51lb 03oz, to take the final podium position. Well done to Poulton's finest.
It's now becoming a habit, but once again Andy Lawton was the shining light in the Leasowe partnership. 23lb 12oz brought section success. Despair in this section, as, despite his best efforts, Les Tommo failed to complete the 20lb challenge. The age old fight with Lily took it's toll and Les lost out on several occasions. Don't mess with Lily, you won't win!
The final section was won by Lee Pickup, who beat 'our kid' off the next peg, with a reasonable score of 19lb 02oz, Good job the challenge has already been met for this month though, Lee. Well done.
Finally, as the only qualifying member to get through this month, Yozzer is already this year's 'Section Winner Challenge' champion.
11 members continue in the 20lb challenge, which will be September and October, but not including the weekend away. Good Luck.

LINGMERE, 16/8/15 ~ Jamie is Alpha One male

A great turnout for Lingmere meant that every peg was in and it was a godsend when The Gnome had to cry off with his shoulder again. Quite remarkable that some members were disappointed at the lack of a breeze, as normally the wind is such a spoiler.
Once again the fishing seemed almost secondary to most as the banter was superb from start to finish. Even as a spectator, there was never a dull moment.
For the purposes of the blog I shall call the tactic of pole fishing shallow with no float the Monkey method. I'm sure you all know what I mean.
The frame this week was made up entirely of 'monkeys'. Paul Cargill was drawn on the unfashionable peg 11, and midway through the match he was everybody's favourite to win. Catching shallow to the bush on maggot, he soon dispensed with his float and fished the monkey with devastating effect. The scales showed 75lb 08oz, which surprised a few who thought Paul had cracked the ton. A brilliant display all the same.
Jamie Pickup also employed the monkey, mainly to the middle of the lake, and quietly sneaked them in all match. He rained on Cargy's parade too, as an impressive 79lb 14oz snatched victory. Well done to The Awesome One, and hard luck to Paul.
The Third wise monkey was the most surprising. Despite being a master float maker, Dennis Jones fished without one! Business must surely take a knock as Ginger let scruples slip and resorted to the 'slap n tap' tactics. Normally he should be ashamed of himself, but scruples don't pay bills. The resultant 71lb 01oz meant that the money went into his pocket, so it was job done. Nice one Denboy.
Plenty of other decent weights saw the Harrop father and son team take 2 section prizes, as Nick had 43lb 12oz, and Dave's 28lb 05oz was also good enough. Andy Lawton ensured that the Leasowe gentry didn't leave empty handed as another fine performance resulted in a 58lb 09oz return. Johnny Buck Rogers continues to bluff. He struggled and didn't end up with much, but a mere 59lb 15oz managed to get him some coin so that was a bit of compensation. Heaven help us when he does have a good day, the club record will surely go. Congratulations to the winners, unlucky the also-rans.

LLOYDS, Badger, 9/8/15 ~ After the Lord Mayor's show....

I suppose it was bound to happen, but following last week's remarkable day out, it was back to some sort of normality for this match. As expected on Badger, if you are on a few it can be a nice day's sport, but if you're not it can be a bit of a grueller. Results reflected the total hit and miss nature of the venue.
The car park side of the lake was rock hard to say the least. There were, however, several outstanding performances. John Edwards stayed the distance for once and put together an impressive (on the day) 33lb 03oz, which was far and away the best weight for that side of the lake.
Lots of tomfoolery surrounded the Maver magician. Andy Lawton almost lost a complete pole. Hooking a carp at 16m, 11 metres of his pole detached itself and was floating around on the surface. As is quite likely on these occasions, Steve Cooke came to the rescue, wedging his 13m section into Andy's errant pole and retrieving the situation. Meanwhile, Paul Robb hooked a carp while fishing the tip, and let it career through Sumo's peg and into Andy's, snagging the latter's pole rig. Andy landed the runaway, unhooked it and then sportingly returned the feeder to Paul and the carp back into the lake.
Absolutely brilliant to see the 2 section winners on that side getting the applause they fully deserved. Cookie Monster Steve just edged in front of Mr Jackson to win his section, while Gentleman Jim, the ever jovial Eric Heyes, had an even bigger smile than usual as he picked up a brown envelope with his 17lb 02oz bag. Marvellous efforts from both on a tough day.
All the main action was around on the far side, with the first 3 pegged in a line. Dennis Jones caught steadily from the first whistle, sneaking the odd fish from his 16 metre line. Buck Rogers also had the odd carp and skimmer from the long line but could never quite nail The Ginger one. For the first hour, Yozzer sat stubbornly refusing to go beyond 6 metres. Consequently, he never had a fish. A switch to maggot shallow brought about a few quality ide and 2 surprise carp. Then it went quiet, except for the usual mind games of who was winning and who wasn't.
Despite losing one fish for every one he put in the net, Dennis was the clear leader at halfway.
With 2 hours to go, The Garden Gnome had a quick look in the margins. 30 seconds later he was playing a ghostie! That "quick" look turned into a full blown assault and it was game on.
Both Dennis and Bucko tried their margins and had a couple of fish, while Yozzer was getting a bite a chuck on 4mm pellet, hooking plenty of carp, landing some and losing some.
It was going to be close. Ginger put a superb 48lb 09oz on the scales and probably deserved to win. Bucko was next and his 36lb 06oz fell short but put him into second. Another fine performance.
However, those late margin fish transformed The Gnome from zero to hero as he took the honours with 67lb 13oz.
Can members please note that following recent events regarding "swimming" all matches will now start with the shout of 'commence fishing' as the old 'all in' call seems to encourage certain people into the lake.

LATHOMS No1, 2/8/15 ~ If Carlsberg did club matches.....

As the advert goes, If Carlsberg did club matches, then this would be about as perfect as you could get. Regulars will know that the pegging is a little tight to say the least, and with 18 in attendance, it was hard to find a bit of space. I think it also meant that the fish had nowhere to back off to.
On a day when 50lb was only good enough for 17th spot, everyone's elastic was on show for most of the day. Banter was great as the feelgood factor spread right along the bank (OK it briefly stopped at Pato). Quote of the day must go to Jamie. Speaking to Paul Robb about a future venue, he said to Paul "you'll love it there...... it's next door to a hairdressers". Quality!
The first section was a real tight affair, with Dennis Jones sneaking the verdict thanks to his 52lb 13oz, while Cookie monster's 50lb 15oz only claimed third in section. Dennis was contemplating a return to the canal scene, but after this match I somehow doubt that will happen any time soon.
Jamie Pickup won the next section with a fine 71lb 02oz, closely followed by Robbo, who weighed 69lb 05oz on his first venue visit. Good efforts from both.

The next section featured overall second and third. Runner-up was Nasty Boy Nick, with a very impressive 94lb 13oz, all caught on maggot at 4 metres. I don't know where he got that idea from.
But it proved too good for Dirk Wriggler who could 'only' manage 83lb 05oz on caster shallow at 13 metres. Maybe all the shipping in and out cost him too much time? Great scores from both men though.
Lee Pickup also chose to fish long and shallow and was rewarded for his hard work by catching sporadically throughout the match for his section win, this time with another bumper weight of 70lb 07oz.
Ken Stuart, with 72lb, and Gary Brislen with 78lb, could have reasonably expected to be in the money. Alas, their section also contained The Gnome, whose 115lb 07oz, caught on pellet and corn at 4 metres, was enough for overall victory. Tough luck fellas.
John Edwards started like a runaway train and another venue record looked to be under threat. Sadly for Sumo, the wheel fell off at halfway but he was able to hang on for a section win with yet another super weight of 76lb 09oz.
Thanks to those that did the weigh-in, it really was a week when you didn't want it to be your turn.

GORSTY HALL, 26/7/15, Ben Pickup Memorial

Apologies but couldn't make this one. The main focus for the day was to remember the short life of Lee's son, Ben Pickup.
Ben will never be forgotten, but according to reports, maybe from a fishing point of view, sport was instantly forgettable.
Sumo ran the match and has kindly written an account of the day:

For those that remember the glory days at Gorsty, and given the recent club results there, plus the weather forecast, eleven brave (deluded?) souls headed out for our latest extravaganza more in hope than expectation.
The day started badly for more than half the field with an enforced Mackie D breakfast as the café wagon at Gorsty doesn't seem to open anymore. Still, the remaining 45 minute drive was enough time to get over the indigestion before the draw.
Given the wind and rain 'in the kipper', keeping your head down on the method/waggler and hoping for a bite was the order of the day. Most poles stayed in the rod bag and the three hopefuls in A section who set them up soon wished they hadn't.
Triumphant on the day was Dirk Wriggler with 25lb 15oz of method caught carp off the lilies. The £28 prize money Derek won will go some way towards replacing the rod he snapped and the reel he dropped into the margin and somehow never to be seen again????
Second, sitting next to Dirk, and on an all too rare outing, was Cargy Jnr with 19lb 05oz of carp, all (all? hah! five ) again caught on the method. Paul's casting prowess drew gasps of amazement from his fellow anglers as his skill and experience prevented his feeder from EVER landing in the same place twice. Searching the peg it's called. Well done son.
Final framer was Steve (I'm better looking than Rock ) Hudson. Perseverance and five and a half hours thrashing away on the big wag resulted in 5 carp for 11lb 15oz.
Sections
A- Dennis Jones - 10lb 13oz (with a perfect split of 2 fish in one net and 2 in the other).
B- Steve Hudson 11lb 15oz
C- Dirk Wriggler 25lb 15oz

I'd like to thank The Butler for sending tradesmen round to the rear entrance and helping with the draw, and Cargy for helping with the weigh in.

Joking apart, hopefully next year we can have a better day on which to remember Lee's little lad.

*******SPECIAL REPORT******** Garbolino Club Angler FINAL, Barston Lakes, 22/7/15

For the second year running I qualified to represent the club in this event, and once again I got through the Tunnel Barn Qualifier. This time however, I would have some company on the big day as Tony Wilson had also got through.
I must admit, immediately following Tunnel Barn, I was not looking forward to the final, which was scheduled for Barston Lakes in Solihull. In my ignorance, I thought it was out and out carp and the dreaded method feeder at 100 yards was the main tactic. The lake is about a mile long and 400 yards wide. Really not my cup of tea, but over the following few weeks I started getting information which cheered me immensely. Although the big carp and decent F1s were mainly on the tip line, they were as close as 20 yards. There was also a ton of bream and big skimmers to be caught on the long pole. Now, to me, long pole also means short pole so I started feeling a little happier and was now actually looking forward to the big day.
 About a month ago I took the opportunity, along with Pete Lucas, to have 2 days of fact finding at the venue. Tony had been for a few hours the week before and things were promising. At Barston you are allowed to drive down one side of the lake and park at your peg. The "match" pegs are generally on the other side, so it would be a long walk from the car park. I slowly plodded until I could go no further. I had reached peg 14!! It would have to do.
Luco asked me if there was anything I would like him to try. Thinking that even if he emptied it on a method feeder at 100 yards, I still wouldn't follow suit in the match, I asked him if he would ping pellets out to 25yds and fish the straight bomb. He agreed, while my plan was to skimmer-bash on the pole.
Pete battered carp and quality F1s right from the off. Following advice, I put in three big pots at 12metres, containing groundbait, pellet and corn. After an hour I was struggling with line bites and foul-hookers, and I felt I had the wrong rig on. I changed to a winter wire and went out to 6 metres with a tosspot full of micros. Almost immediately I was into a decent skimmer. I was now happy, and even more so after I'd had a fish a chuck all day. I even had half a dozen Lumps from down the edge.
The following day we made it as far as pegs in the 20s. Pete wanted a bash at the skimmers while amazingly I fancied an hour on the bomb (I know, I know, tip-w**ker).
Lucas caught some proper bream at 4metres on paste and had a fantastic day, while after a slow start, I started getting F1s to 3lb on the tip. The hour I had planned turned into a five hour stretch as I was enjoying the change and catching a few too.
As usual, any excuse for a couple of days away saw Tony and I fishing Barston the day before the match. I had planned a 2 pronged attack using both pole and tip. On the journey down, somewhere near Stoke, a transit van pulled alongside us and beckoned me to open my window. He informed us that a rod-bag had fallen off our roof-rack. Turning off and going back up the motorway for a junction, we wanted to clarify the situation. Back on the southbound carriageway and the first indications were overhead messages indicating a 40mph speed limit due to 'Debris in the roadway'. The motorway patrol vehicle was on the hard shoulder and as we slowed, there was my ready rod bag lying in the fast lane in a slightly squashed condition, having been run over by every passing vehicle. We carried on driving, totally amused.. who wants to sit on the tip anyway?
We found out that the whole lake was being used for the final  so with 120 pegs and only 45 anglers, we would all get a bit of room. With this in mind, we went on the 'driving' side. After passing an assortment of bivvies, pleasure anglers and the odd matchman we were nearly at the end of the lake.
Tony started by potting a decent helping of bait on the pole line and then chucked a method, unsuccessfully, for an hour or so. I went straight on the pole. After a couple of hours of skimmer fishing at 10metres, and catching some proper bream, a fellow qualifier came for a chat and seemed surprised at how well we were doing. He informed us that we were on a couple of dud pegs. With Tony getting a few on the bomb late in the day, we went back to the Premier Inn brimming with confidence.
When I say 'confidence', I mean that we would be able to catch a few and not make fools of ourselves rather than a belief that we could enjoy any great success.
Apparently we both drew decent pegs........ on the walking side. After the trip to the 20s a few weeks prior, Tony had a long walk to 38, while I had further to go than I would normally go on my holidays, all the way to 54!!
Garbolino's Darren Cox, and magazine editors Joe Carass and Alex Bones were on hand and gave advice freely to anyone who asked. Joe told me he'd done a magazine article earlier in the week on the very same peg 54. Corn at 6metres had proved to be a winner so I was at least on the right track.
With enough gear to carry as it was, the weather forecast was for light showers on and off so I left my brolly in the car, along with my coat. Big mistake. A long spell of heavy rain early in the match had soaked me and my gear, right through to my boxies. At one stage I looked like Lee fishing the Mong as I couldn't hold my pole still I was dithering that much with the cold and wet.
Contrary to what most people would probably do, I thought that I'd start on the pole for the skimmers, while pinging pellets on the bomb line (borrowed a rod off Tony). It worked well as I started catching skimmers right away, and had about 12lb after 75 minutes. Action slowed a little so I put a bit more feed in and chucked the tip. I managed 2 small mirrors (8oz) and 3 decent f1s but it was too slow for my liking. Back on the pole and I was into skimmers again. Corn at 8metres proved the best tactic. I fed the margins with 90mins left, and 20 minutes later, on my first drop in I got a 3lb bream almost immediately. Next drop in produced a 7lb carp and I thought I was going to empty it. Alas, that was the last bite I had, despite frequent looks in between keeping the skimmers coming.
At the whistle I was really pleased with what I thought was about 60lb total. A great day's sport, and I wasn't going to embarrass myself when the scales came round.
My carp and F1s came to 21lb and then the 'silvers' net went 66lb. Unbelievable!!! 87lb 09oz in total. Rumour was that someone a couple of pegs away had done well on the pellet waggler and so it proved. A masterly display put 125lb of carp on the scales and gave us a comfortable leader.
A hike up to Tony saw him weigh 64lb, and he was confirmed as a section winner. Another stunning effort, even if he is from Poulton Vics. I think he was secretly buzzing too.
Complementary pie and chips in the clubhouse meant everyone stayed for the result and the presentation, which was really nice. I thought I might get my section by default as the 125 was in mine, and it looked like he might be the winner. Apart from £70 section prizes, the top 5 were getting paid and receiving tackle prizes. We joked about me winning a new tip rod.
The tip rods went to places 5, 4 and 3. I was out of luck as I had finished 2nd and had to settle for a new Garbolino Power Legion pole and £200. Tony had finished agonisingly close to a tackle prize in 6th overall. This is all a dream for the pair of us.
Like I said last year, thanks to the club for giving me the opportunity to represent them. It was, again, an incredible experience. Thanks too for all the good luck messages of support, they genuinely meant a lot.

LINGMERE, 19/7/15 ~ Dirk wins Eggymania after J Hughes grabs fisho double.

Another great turnout for a blustery Lingmere meant that pegging was tight. It didn't stop the venue from providing some excellent sport.
The previous day saw Jamie Hughes win a second fishomania title on a rather disappointing Cudmore. Massive congratulations to him.
Meanwhile, Jamie's star pupil, the almost legendary Dirk Wriggler, was winning the latest Eggymania match by a comfortable margin. An impressive 101lb 03oz left the field trailing in his wake, so well done Derek.
Chasing hard was another Jamie, this time the Pickup variety. He too put in a decent effort and was rewarded with the silver medal for his 65lb 03oz, with plenty of ide featuring in his catch. A nice try from the Jamster.
With the Garbo club angler final just around the corner, how fitting that qualifier Tony Wilson should hit top form at the right time. Having struggled to feature this term, he put on a fabulous display to the tune of 62lb 04oz to complete the frame. Well done to Tony and good luck in the final.
Another JH protégé in the shape of Andy Lawton continued this season's improvement with yet another section win, this time a very good 57lb 07oz did the damage. The Butler strikes again.
Ken Stuart put his venue knowledge to good use as he brought 51lb 05oz to the scales for a section win. Nice one Ken.
I believe the final section winner had a day which epitomised exactly what the club is striving for. Paul Robb was drawn next to Ray Jackson. I don't think they had met before. Everyone warned Robbo he was in for an ear-bashing. With Jacko throwing insults like they were going out of fashion, Paul decided to respond in kind, and some top class banter was exchanged all through the match. With Yozzer still out of action and sitting behind them, and loading the bullets, there were laughs galore, but both men still had time to catch a few fish. Robbo's 53lb 10oz won the day, and the section. Paul wants to fiddle the draw at the next match so he can sit by Ray again.
Robbo's new blueprint for match-fishing is as follows:
Enjoy the day and have a laugh.
If you catch a few then that's a bonus.
Does it really matter who wins?

HAMPTON, LONG ISLAND, 5/7/15 ~ Steve makes a splash as Yozzer limps home.

It was a pleasant enough day when we arrived at Hampton, with several members wearing shorts to match the summery climate. Eventually everyone ended up soaking wet, some earlier than others.
In a scene reminiscent of a certain Mr. Lucas, this time, in midmatch, Steve Coleman momentarily took his eye off the ball.... well, rod actually. Steve had been fishing the lead and reached down for his catapult when the unattended rod was pulled off the rest and into the lake. Instinctively, Steve followed, head first! Having failed to grab the rod, it did a quick tour of the area before Lee Pickup managed to rescue it. Meanwhile, Steve got out of the water to a great deal of sympathy. " It's Raheem Sterling, doing a dive like that", "Tom Daley's on the phone", and "Steve's making a splash" were among the enquiries as to Steve's well-being.
The rest of us got soaked as heavy rain moved in with an hour of the contest left.
Having slipped just before the all-in, The Gnome had pulled his bicep muscles, and was in some pain. A slow catch rate of mainly small fish had him in a dilemma. He wanted some better carp but would the arm stand up to the pressure?
With the rain came the carp, and decent ones at that, straight into Yozzer's margin. 50lb in the last hour made sure of a comfortable victory in one sense, but the pain increased with every fish so he felt very uncomfortable at the end. 72lb 04oz was the total to bring victory to the venue regular.
At the other end of the lake, as well as the diving scandal, Neil Paterson was in fine fettle. Following an unplaced effort in a dodgers match on the Friday, when his exceptional 107lb 14oz got him absolutely nowhere, the Jolly one carried on the bagging, and was as jovial as we have ever seen him. Fishing the tip for the day, Neil brought 38lb 14oz to the scales, which was more than enough to grab the runner-up berth. Brilliant!
Last week's runner-up, Gary Brislen, slipped a place to third this time round, but was equally as happy with the level of sport as he was last week.
The other sections were closely fought, with Ray Jackson's 22lb 06oz proving enough to see off Spadger, while Ginger Jones AKA Dennis did the business with his 17lb 08oz just holding Sumo's challenge by under 2lb.
Well done to both, on a generally hard day.

GORSTY HALL, 28/6/15 ~ Waggler joy for Jamie

Despite the odd heavy shower, conditions seemed perfect for Gorsty to show it's true potential. Bright but overcast with a nice ripple on the water, a decent day's sport on the method of your choice looked on the cards.
However, looks can be deceiving. With no sign of the prolific skimmers and crucians of previous years, the pole was a complete waste of time. It turned into an out and out carp match, with method feeder or pellet waggler to the lilies being the main options.
Jamie Pickup used both these approaches and ended up the runaway winner. His brilliant display put 65lb 03oz on the scales.
The only one to buck the trend and catch on the pole was Gary Brislen. His success came with some decent carp on sloppy paste fished to the bush. A decent return of 37lb 02oz seemed impressive enough, but typical of laughin boy, all he did was moan about how bad it was! Eight other members failed to weigh in, and their combined moans didn't add up to those of the runner up. The age old question pops up again...... what the F**k do you want from a day's fishing?
Lee Pickup used the waggler to good effect and managed to get 31lb 12oz away from the lilies and into his net. An honourable third for Lee, but his winnings wouldn't cover the cost of 3 lost floats, countless hooks and a couple of gallon of pellets. Seriously, well done but get some proper line for next time.
Nick Harrop bluffed his way to a section win. Dirk and Andy had 4 carp apiece, and when Harrop was asked what he had, he told them he'd had 8, so the Leasowe gentry tipped back. It seems 3 of those were roach, and another was a razor-blade skimmer, along with 4 carp to total 16lb 05oz. Kidology at it's finest, so nice one Nick.
On a rare outing, Col Cook once again showed us the talent we're missing as he won the other section with 23lb 10oz.
Not the best day's fishing we've ever had, but some great banter as usual, so enjoyable nonetheless.

LINGMERE, 21/6/15 ~ The Gnome gives the 'mong rig' a pasting

I'm on my travels again so just the result from Lingmere. It fished really well overall.
1st The Gnome 108lb 09oz on paste at 5m
2nd Dirk Wriggler 90lb 13oz on 'the mong' and feeder
3rd Andy Lawton 83lb 03oz
Section win : Dave Lynch 57lb 09oz
Other noteable weights from Ken Stuart with 70lb, and Buck Rogers with 65lb 01oz.
Full report to follow........

BLUNDELLS ASH, 14/6/15 ~ Blundells brace puts Dirk in Garbo driving seat.

Having been on holiday, I only have the briefest of details for the first Blundells match, held on East pool. Apparently it fished really well, with everyone having a decent day's sport. The result was as follows: 1st Derek Warren with 71lb, 2nd Johnny Rogers with 66lb and 3rd was Les Thompson with 61lb. An excellent result for all concerned, well done.
The next match was on the Ash pool, and given the width of the lake, it looked like the feeder would dominate. The big ide, for which the lake is noted, failed to show. However, maggot fished shallow on the long pole still proved to be the best tactic, as the lake's carp population took a liking to this approach, rather than the far bank feeder.
Dirk once again showed the way home, and made it a brace of wins with another masterly display to the tune of 67lb 08oz, all carp caught on banded maggot. Those back to back victories mean The Wriggler has 6 counting scores on the Garbolino leader board at the half way stage. His record currently stands at 2 wins, 3 seconds and a third.
Dave Lynch had started well next to the winner, first on the tip with meat, and then again fishing shallow with maggot. He couldn't sustain the effort and had to settle for the silver medal with a very tidy 45lb 12oz.
John Rogers can bluff with the best and told everyone he was way off the pace. 44lb 08oz of mixed fish caught on maggot revealed the truth.
Gary Brislen made his end peg count as he won another section prize, this time with a steady 28lb 08oz of carp and decent skimmers.
Well done to all who contributed to 2 good match, and congratulations to the framers.

********SPECIAL REPORT******** GARBOLINO CLUB ANGLER, Tunnel Barn Farm Qualifier, 20/5/15

Having performed well enough throughout 2014, I again had the privilege of representing the club at this year's Garbo Club Angler. Jamie Pickup was the other rep, but had to cry off at the last minute. With a mere 24 hours notice, Nicky Harrop stepped in to ensure the space wasn't wasted.
With Tony Wilson and Chris Roe having tickets through Poulton Vics we would have a few heads at the planning table on Tuesday evening.
Nick, Tony and I arrived in Warwick at 8.30am and had breakfast at a toby carvery. TBF have a café but tend to close pretty sharpish around 9am so we took no chances. We received our usual warm welcome from owner Mike and manager Les upon arrival at the venue, and were advised to try Top pool, which offered some protection from the wind.
We decided to fish from 10.30 till 2pm and then evaluate. Showing Tony the ropes as this was his first visit to TBF, he was a bit surprised when I told him to just get top kits out of the bag. Unusually though, his peg was super shallow close in so a further 2 sections were needed to reach the recommended 3 feet depth. My standard corn n hemp tactic would be a starting point.
Amazingly I too started on a top kit with corn and was into fish straight away, F1s averaging a pound and a half. A slow first 20 minutes had Tony scratching his head and doubting the advice. Once he had his first bite he settled into a rhythm and couldn't contain his excitement at the quality and ease of the fishing. Nick had a bit of previous at the venue, and he too caught F1s with monotonous regularity.
Although we used our nets, which is allowed at TBF, we hadn't taken any scales. At the agreed 2pm we took a look at the contents and estimated that Tony and I had about 80lb, with Nick close behind with 60. We then made the decision to turn our seatboxes round to fish the adjacent High pool for a few hours to see if that was any different.
After half an hour of the session (2.30 till 6) it was apparent that the corn would again work, but might not be the most effective approach as the fish were of a smaller stamp, and seemed to be up in the water. Nick and I stubbornly stuck to the plan while Tony went onto caster shallow at 5 metres. He subsequently 'emptied it'. Or that was the impression. When it came to emptying the nets, similar result were evident compared to Top pool, but we'd had a lot more fish for the weight.
Tuesday night we went for an Indian and then met Chris in the alehouse. Tony was trying his best to convince him that corn was best, fished short, but the rest of us were pretty sure of what we wanted to do.
Match day morning, and following breakfast we arrived at Tunnel. Only 166 entrants this year, so just a knock-up really :-) Spread over 8 lakes, there were to be 19 qualifying spaces up for grabs, which basically meant 2 from each lake. Tony and Nick drew on New pool, both on good looking pegs, while Chris and I also drew together on Club pool. It could be won from anywhere but Club was one of the more favoured lakes, although its not actually one of my favourites.
Again, readers will probably think I'm talking bollox when I say it proved to be a challenge. Most of the lakes are predominately F1s, whereas there are a lot more 'proper' carp in Club. The dilemma throughout the match was... feed for F1s or feed for carp? " 2 hours in, and things were slow on hemp and corn, with those around me catching 2 to my one. Decision time. Adding a number four, I plumbed up down my peg, at an angle about 6 feet off the bank. I was going down my Lingmere route of micros with a 4mm expander. What a transformation! I started to claw my way back into contention for the section (£50 for 5 pegs). With a decent amount of carp showing I decided to fill the margins in and hope for a strong finish with some big carp. Big mistake more like, as every time I looked, after a length of time, all I could get was an F1. I just kept going back on the pellet line and catching steadily.
When the scales came round, which was pretty sharpish for a match of it's size, I thought I'd done about 85lb and maybe enough for 2nd in section and 2nd on the lake, which would mean qualification for the final. As usual my estimation was a little out, and I managed 113lb 14oz. The two anglers who I thought may have beaten me weighed 93 and 84 respectively. Job done, I'd won £50 and qualified.
Chris had weighed 50lb for nowhere, while Nicky also finished unplaced with his level 60lb. A great day's match fishing nonetheless.
Meanwhile, Tony too had enjoyed a great day, while demonstrating remarkable restraint. His peg looked a dolly with features galore. The temptation to use the entire pole was resisted, and sticking to the top kit plan, he brought 93lb 10oz to the scales. At the time, the magazine photographer told him to keep some fish in a net, which got Tony excited. Soon after he told him to tip them back as someone had done 113lb. Tony's first thought was ..."I bet it's that feckn Gnome!" He did, however, win his section and the lake.
At the car park, we had a burger and stood around for ages waiting for the result. All the section winners were announced and paid, and Tony and I never got a mention...... Hang on, we must be in the main frame. Tony was just pipped by 4oz and had to settle for a brilliant 3rd place and a consolation £200, while, incredibly, I had somehow won it again. I felt embarrassed for a moment but the £300 in the envelope ended those feelings and, as they say, I was over the moon. So, get your fingers out this year, someone else deserves to have this experience, bring it on fellas.

LINGMERE, 17/5/15 ~ It's ton-up Gnome, at the double

Guess what? Yep, it was windy at Lingmere. No, honestly. Once again a healthy breeze put a nice ripple on the water. Conditions always seem to have a major bearing on your approach at Lingmere, with good intentions going out of the window once the draw has been made. As usual, we had received the Saturday night text telling us how great it had fished on the open match, with a 3 figure winning weight, and 90lb only good enough for third.
This time however, it maintained it's form on our match too, with everyone doing over 25lb. Good fishing by any standards.
The Gnome followed up last week's win with another success, this time cracking the ton with an impressive 108lb 02oz. Here's a bit of a shocker, maggot shallow accounted for about 40lb, while the more usual pellet short completed the job.
Runner up was The Wriggler. Using the habitual feeder, he put fish in the net on a regular basis. The turning point for Dirk was one wayward cast too many. With feeder stuck in island rushes, he pulled for a break and got one, as his brand new feeder rod ended up in two halves. Forced onto the pole, he discovered why there have been some decent weights from the area recently, as the margin was solid. 62lb 06oz added to the list of good catches, and meant another frame for Dirk.
Laughin Boy Brislen completed the frame with a stylish 55lb 14oz from an average peg, while his chauffeur, Neil Paterson ensured a singalong in the car on the way home, by winning his section yet again, this time with another remarkable 54lb 10oz. Big pats on the back for both, I can hear it now....."The wheels on the bus......."
Continuing the trend on the day, the other section winners all had top quality weights. Congratulations to Dennis Jones with 46lb, Spadger with 42lb 12oz, and particularly Les Thompson who, after last week's defection to the PS gang, came back with a bang and his 50lb 10oz guaranteed household harmony due to the brown envelope going straight into Mrs T's handbag.

HAMPTON, Willow, 10/5/15 ~ Gnome by name, Gnome by nature.

Our first visit to Hampton on the Willow pool for about 12 months, and there seemed to have been some changes. Extensive weed growth made a few pegs unavailable, and some bankside shrubbery ruled out certain margin options on other pegs. However, some things stayed the same. The 2oz razor blade skimmers have been replaced by hoardes of miniscule gudgeon, which proved a real problem to many in the opening throws of the match. Like all the other lakes at Hampton, this one had received a decent stocking of 5oz F1s. Trying to be subtle enough to catch them whilst avoiding the gudgeon was a headache.
At the weigh-in, and with the fishery wanting fish under 2lb in one keepnet, and those over 2lb in another, most people basically had a net with carp in, and the other was virtually empty, save a few of the nuisance gudgeon.
The Gnome, however, had lived up to his name, and fished a top kit out in front, and had somehow managed to avoid the bits in the shallower water. He also found the F1s in feeding mode, and put 18lb of them into the "smalls" net. Adding on his better carp from the margins, 66lb 03oz was enough for victory.
Like most, Colin Cook had struggled for the first hour before a switch to pellet shallow at 14metres brought a change in fortunes. Proper carp went into the net at regular intervals until the breeze increased, and his rig ended up in an overhanging bush. That signalled the end of that approach, and also his chances of winning. He did, however, have enough for an honourable second, with 55lb 12oz.
Dirk Wriggler caught decent carp steadily throughout the contest on a method feeder to the island, and set up the chance to win the match. A slow final hour, when he failed to make the margins produce, ultimately left him in third place with 52lb 05oz. Still an excellent effort, and a good day's sport.
The obvious margin peg in The Entertainment Manager's peg was obscured by a newly grown bush,  but Gary Brislen still made a good fist of it and won a section with 40lb 07oz.  Despite everyone saying he caught on the tip, John Edwards insisted that half his weight came to pole-fished corn at 5 metres. Whatever, 38lb 04oz was the result, and a section win for Sumo too.
Lee Pickup made good use of a decent draw with a section winning 35lb 05oz so well done to him.
The Man of the match went to the final section winner. Following on from last week's DNW (just for a change), when he moaned about a lack of bites, moans galore for the initial hour this week signalled that those pesky gudgeon where apparently all over his peg, and he was getting too many bites?????? The Jolly Green Giant adapted to his peg though and soon figured out how to get to the carp. By the end, and in buoyant mood for a change, Neil Paterson found out what it's like to weigh in, and put a magnificent 51lb 10oz on the scales. The brown envelope will go alongside the successful rig on his mantelpiece. According to the big fella, every rig winder in his box has "crap" written on it. Now he's got to learn how to spell "good" to write on the winder for this one.

LLOYDS, Badger, 3/5/15 ~ Steve performs a miracle after "only staying for two hours"

Heavy overnight rain threatened to put a dampener on proceedings, but, fortunately, the all-in signalled an end to the showers, and the match was fished in dry, warm conditions.
At the draw, conversation was pretty standard, with comments about where you wanted to be and where would be devoid of fish. Apparently the right hand straight as you walk down from the car park had absolutely no fish in it whatsoever, despite it producing a runaway winner on our last visit.
Sitting pre-match on one of the aforementioned pegs was Steve Coleman. Quote: "I'll give it two hours and then I'm off". As usual, we all seem to forget that fish can actually swim, and they seem to have swam into his peg!
Reaching the two hours mark, and again in typical fashion, those nearby were exaggerating the fact that Steve was catching, Quote: "he must have a ton already". As Cookie Monster and I did the walk of shame, I can only assume that Steve decided to stay the full distance, otherwise it was some performance to weigh 77lb 12oz in 2 hours. Still an excellent job by Steve, however long he fished.
Following last week's early bath, Lee Pickup got back on the horse, and back up to his usual standard, with an impressive display. Pegged round the back, only a select few would have seen it, but a final tally of 51lb 07oz indicates that he put in a solid effort. Well done Lee.
The bronze medal went to Laughin Boy Brislen who, pegged next to the winner, managed to nick a few of the stragglers off Steve and put 42lb 09oz on the scales. Another consistent try by Gary.
Some decent returns from the section winners, but others which indicate how erratic the level of sport was. Decent weights for both Dennis Jones with 33lb 15oz, and Col Cook with 36lb 15oz. Whilst at the other end of the spectrum, Ken Pickup's 15lb 05oz, and Nicky Harrop's 11lb 06oz show the other side of the coin, pretty dismal. As they say, That's match fishing.

LINGMERE, 26/4/15 ~ Bucked again....by big bad John

After a cold night, and with 20 anglers on the bank, Lingmere was expected by most to be slow going at the start, with the usual F1 frenzy in the latter stages. Those who went down the silver route had the most consistent sport throughout the day. Those who went positive, ....went home early! Lee started shallow on the mong and was packing up after 2 hours, while Sumo, on a dolly peg, also went shallow and then paste fishing. He soon collected the silver medal in the packing up competition. KP finally succumbed with half an hour to go.
Amid all the banter John Buck Rogers sat quietly in the corner just plodding away and taking it all in. After all, he wants to learn. Learn what we ask, as once again he demonstrated great skills in comfortably winning his 2nd match in 3 weeks. With 72lb 03oz of mainly f1s it looks like he caught all day. It was another smart performance so don't tell him anything in future (only joking).
On a rare outing with Eggy, MFS legend Ian Simpson went down the silvers route and targeted those massive ide that Lingmere is famed for, on maggot. Some quality skimmers and late f1s supplemented those fish and gave Simo a return of 54lb 03oz, and a superb second place.
Completing the frame, this time mainly with tip-caught fish, for 53lb 04oz, was the Butler, Andy Lawton. Well done Andy, another excellent display, now go and wash the Bentley, there's a good chap.
Section wins went to Yozzer with 32lb 02oz, Jamie Pickup, again with some big ide for 43lb 14oz, and Gary Fairhead, another making an all too rare appearance, with 44lb 02oz. Great stuff from them.
The biggest achievement of the day was by the final section winner. After struggling for months, with plenty of Drennan North West sponsorship (DNW), Neil Patty Paterson, urged on by Nice Boy Nick, qualified for the next round of the section winners, and 20lb challenges, at the final hurdle. His 43lb 01oz was his best weight since 1986, so what a magnificent effort....... only trouble is, he's gotta do it again during May..... Doh!

IMPORTANT NOTICE FROM THE COMMITTEE

Since the turn of the year there have been a few incidents where club or fishery rules have been bent. The last thing the committee want is to rule the club with an iron fist. The club should be governed by the membership itself. Most are a dream, and just turn up, draw a peg and have a day's fishing with the lads.
There is a certain feeling, however, that we are allowing too much leeway when rules are not adhered to. The committee realise that this is unfair, so from the next match, we ask all members to familiarise themselves with the fishery rules and stick to them. Use your angling skills to win and not a loophole in the rules.
In the interests of fairness to all, rule breakers will be disqualified immediately in future contests.

GORSTY HALL, 19/4/15 ~ Dennis victorious from tailor-made peg

A cool start for this match, with temperatures down to 3 overnight, but a very pleasant day with a light breeze and sunny spells.
I think most of the field had a little mutter at one stage or another as sport was not as hectic as anticipated. The final scores, however, compared well with  previous Gorsty visits.
A distinct lack of cruies and skimmers meant that it was basically carp or tiny roach.
Dennis Jones found the carp in abundance on a pellet waggler to the lilies. Pegged beneath a large willow tree, Ginger bemoaned the fact that the low branches were impeding his casting. Imagine the problems a normal sized person would have had, it seems the peg was tailor made for Dennis. 56lb 05oz was the final score, a very impressive effort on the day.
Lee Pickup finally made the 20lb challenge and in some style. Pellet waggler was again the successful approach, bringing Lee an excellent 41lb 04oz net to take silver. Well done Lee.
Mastercatcher Ken Stuart bucked the trend when he pole fished all match and brought a superb 34lb 02oz to the scales, which was enough for 3rd place, Nice one Ken.
Sections went to Nasty Nick Harrop with 27lb 05oz, and Fatboy Jamie Pickup with 25lb 05oz. Great efforts from both, so well done.
Struggling for most of the match, Andy Lawton finally managed a bite but it turned out to be a duck, which had taken a liking for his slow-sinking pellet. After a tremendous rod-bending fight lasting 5 minutes and just about wrecking his peg altogether, Andy finally cracked off and the bird ducked off.
That was enough for the Gnome, pegged next door, and Cookie Monster to do the walk of shame with over an hour to go.

BLUNDELLS, West Lodge, 12/4/15 ~ Buck Rogers finishes light years ahead

Another great turnout despite a rotten weather forecast. The forecast proved to be accurate from a wind-speed point of view, as a stiff breeze ruined most angler's chances of fishing the long pole to the far bank, while unscheduled rain sent 4 or 5 on the walk of shame.
A thoroughly miserable day was brightened considerably by the display from John 'Buck' Rogers, who was light years ahead of the field.
One of only a handful who chose the long pole, John caught steadily all day to record an outstanding winning total of 75lb 04oz, which consisted of carp and big F1s on pellet. Massive congratulations on an initial Eggy match win, I'm sure it will be the first of many.
Second place was a close fought affair, although between anglers at different ends of the lake. At one end, Nicky Harrop found plenty of decent sized carp, but despite landing a level 51lb, he finished with 6 empty rig winders as some of the fish were big and wise, and found the aerator with consummate ease. I think his winnings might just cover the cost of some new floats and hooks, but still an excellent effort from the man from near Raby.
Gary Brislen was at the other end of the lake and found a similar mix, although there was no fixture in his peg to cause any embarrassment. Decent carp and F1s gave a 50lb 08oz return, as Gary fell agonisingly short of the silver medal.
Once again Dave Lynch was at the centre of another groundbait controversy. This time he put three babies heads in with an hour to go and went for a walk. Upon his return he landed two decent carp about 5lb apiece and scraped into a section winning position with 22lb 08oz. A master stroke or a big slice of spawn....I'll let you decide, but it worked so well done Spadge.
The Garden Gnome struggled for the first part of the match, but resorted to the usual 'top-kit in front' tactic and managed to find a few late fish to secure another section win with 26lb 11oz.
In contrast, Steve Coleman caught most of his 14lb 04oz in the initial half hour, and while those around him packed in early or sat in warm cars, Steve had to sit it out and wait for the scales in order to collect his section envelope. Nice one.
Another one to plod on until the end in order to see a return on his efforts was Les Thompson. Despite being next to Nasty Nick, Les kept chasing all day and his 25lb was enough to see him through to the next round of the 20lb challenge. Great attitude from the little round one, justly rewarded, well done.

A Jolly Jaunt to The Cunneries. 24/3/15

With the year moving along quickly, we need to start thinking ahead to 2016 already. The turnouts at matches are fantastic but it also creates a few headaches. Some of our regular haunts will not longer accommodate our needs. A suggestion from Ian Simpson is that The Cunneries may be suitable for what we require. For those who know Orcheton Farm, it is 2 minutes down the road. If you don't, its in Eccleston, Chorley, which is 30 miles from the Wirral, along the M58 and North for 1 junction on the M6.
Nicky Harrop and I decided to take a look. The S Canal was the water in question. Upon arrival the place does look a bit of a dump, with stacks of hardcore lying around the place, and they are in the process of digging another lake.
However, once at the waterside, it takes on a much better appearance. There are 4 interlinked 'canal' strips, and a total of 47 pegs. The owner, a very pleasant lady called Betty, will organise pegs to suit requirements.
At £6 a peg, and a very modest £3.50 for pensioners, the cost also falls within range of what the club is willing to pay.
On to the fishing. We decided upon 2 adjacent pegs near the car park. The canal is rush-lined on both sides and would be about 11 metres wide, so no heroics to reach the far bank. We chose to fish 5 metres (there's a surprise), and were into fish immediately. It was F1s all the way, on maggot and pellet, with fish in the 'Lingmere' weight range, i.e. 1lb to 3lb. The owner told us that it was stocked 80% F1s with occasional rogue carp. some bream to 4lb, chub, perch and gudgeon. We fished for 6 hours, including a mad last hour on maggot shallow at 5metres, and ended with 250 F1s between us. A phenomenal day's sport. Ok, it's not likely to fish that well all the time, but it seems to have most of what the club wants in a venue so Jamie has booked a few , one for this November, and some for next year. We managed to get dates early and late in the year because everything is fully booked already which indicates how other clubs must rate it.
Finally, last Sunday, when we struggled, every peg was in at The Cunneries and a club match was won with 98lb.
Would definitely recommend a pleasure session on there, and you can decide for yourself. I think we may go back for another look.... only the once though.

LINGMERE, 22/3/15 ~ Sumo 'does it his way'

********GUEST BLOG********
Some of you may notice a different writing style to this week's blog as Yozzer, our usual scribe, is too busy catching up on a Sky-plussed season of the Jeremy Kyle Show to write it himself. Watching Jeremy is the only way he can keep up with what his close family and friends have been up to recently.
With an influx of new members and Lingmere's well deserved reputation as a decent fishery, 24 members turned out. Unfortunately, the weather and the sheer number of anglers conspired against us, with a sharp frost, clear skies and nearly every peg used.
After the usual top notch breakfast, cooked and served by the lovely Jan, the draw was done and members took to their pegs with the usual mix of loud groans and half-concealed smiles.
As expected, by those with any brains at least, things started slowly in the bright, still conditions.
On peg 29 in G section, Sumo had two venue regulars to contend with in the shape of retired (retarded?) double act Yozzer and Harrop Senior. Managing to ignore most of their advice, he finally managed to put a decent number of F1s and small carp together by long-lining pellet shallow at 13 and 14 metres. Following Nick's advice, he even caught a few down the edge. Would have been nicer if Nick had told him about the bloody big snag in the edge, which cost him 3 hooks!!! Still, Nick's rendition of 'I did it my way' proved that the X-Factor doesn't have a monopoly on people with voices like a fucked Ford alternator. Sumo's final tally was 41lb 03oz, enough to take first on the day.
Meanwhile, in E Section, on peg 20, Dirk the Wiggler managed to catch enough hazy glimpses of his float / quiver tip through the massive clouds of his vapour fag to put together 31lb 09oz to take the first runner up position. About 10lb of that total was a carp too big to fit into Dirk's Lidl landing net so the Cookie Monster on the next peg, and in the same section, stepped in to help by lending Dirk his net. At the weigh in Dirk beat Cookie by less than 7lb. DOH!
In B Section on peg 7, Jamie Pickup managed to get over the embarrassment of using the same pole for the third match in a row and put 30lb 08oz in the onion bags for a well deserved third place.
An honourable mention must go to Pato in A Section, who, after much recent venue coaching, and finally deciding not to use his usual badly cast Method / bomb, went for a pole only approach. Either side of him, Andy (the Butler) and Dave (he's not my dad) Harrop both went with the method / bomb and showed the big fella how it should be done. Dave took the section with 21lb 12oz and earned himself Pato's undying admiration as a 'Tip Wanker'.
C Section was taken by Paul Cargill who, after a recent absence, decided he needed some cash and the easiest way to score it was to turn up at an Eggy match and fish half tidily in a tough section for 10lb 07oz. Well done Paul and great to see you on the bank.
Over in D Section, Lee Pickup managed to show venue regular and new member Big Ears (but small brain) Jackson how it should be done with a section winning 12lb 04oz.
F Section was taken by John Rogers with 23lb 11oz off a normally poor corner peg. In the same section as Daddy Pickup and Storming Norman Smith, John probably knew he'd only need about 8lb to win but decided to batter them anyway.
Personally I found it strange how all the regulars at the Wednesday Coffin Dodgers matches seem to struggle when presented with an opposition field that doesn't have prostate problems and has to spend half the match pissing..... or trying to.
See you at Blundells boys.  ANON.

*************GUEST BLOG************

Note from The Gnome: Thought it might be an idea to let others have a bash at the blog. A superb first attempt from Anonymous. If anyone else fancies having a go please let me know.

LATHOMS No1, 8/3/15 ~ Spadger strikes gold..... and no groundbait!

Another great turnout, and reasonable sport for everyone. Most people had some early fish while the scheduled rain showers stretched on into the afternoon. As soon as the rain stopped, so did the fishing. A slow couple of hours in mid-match put the dampeners on some possible top weights, before they came back in the final hour.
Adopting the quiz programme 'Pointless' on BBC, where the object is to come up with an obscure answer than nobody would have given, this would definitely produce a pointless answer.
Q. Name someone who hasn't won an Eggy match.
A. Dave Lynch!!!!!!!!!!
Absolutely amazing to check back through the blog reports to find that Spadger had never been the headline act. For an angler of such quality, experience and knowledge I was staggered  at the facts.
Dave put that right in no uncertain manner at Lathoms.
Despite being eyeballed for signs of illegal groundbait, Spadger kept to the rules, and kept his cool. Feeding a kilo bag of Maver moans steadily throughout the match, the fish continued to go into the onion bag, and at the end, Dave had amassed 57lb 06oz to gain that long awaited victory. Congratulations Spadge.
Fortunately for us, the title doesn't mean he has to wear a dress, but bridesmaid for the third match this campaign was John Edwards. Making great use of a decent draw, Sumo again threatened the venue record, but suffered the mid-match lull, and this cost him dearly. 52lb 14oz was an excellent return on the day so well done to John.
Jamie Pickup, pegged next to the Maestro Pete Clueless, was inspired by the returning Mr Lucas, and responded to the banter in grand style to take the final podium position with 49lb 07oz. Following some mediocre showings in recent matches, Jambo was back on song, and Luco's wit and repartee enhanced some lively exchanges between members.
The Garden Gnome was next, with a section winning 35lb 09oz, while a solid performance off an average peg, gave Steve Coleman a section prize with a well earned 28lb 04oz.
I personally think that the influx of new members has made the club even better as they have all fitted in nicely to the social and banter side of things as well as attending the matches. It gives great pleasure then, when one of them has some success. Johnny 'Buck' Rogers had his first section win with his 17lb 15oz, so a massive pat on the back to him.
It's equally nice to see the club stalwarts enjoying some glory too, so to see Tony Byers give work a miss for once, and earn some cash from fishing, was also a pleasant sight.
Finally, it was also great to see Harry Simpson back on his feet after an horrendous illness before Christmas.